Friday, September 18, 2009 . 10:26 PM

.loves..loves..loves..loves..loves..loves..loves..loves.
my dearest ger will arrive in london any min! God God bless her & jiang mama. ('_')b I believe and always have faith in this girl...she'll be bold enough to endear what will come, she'll be not be swayed by anything, everything... (copy from suyee..refuse to be let)

Adapt fine ger and I hope for the best for you!

although at work today, something somehow gone wrong~ too distracted by too much rest- 2days mc and prob my dear friend flying off...and maybe too many thoughts..running all about~

I'll not falter...i'll be strong..stronger when I meet u at London ger! :)

Monday, September 14, 2009 . 11:30 PM

歇下为一的武装

perhaps, my home has always been a comforting place...whenever u feel like damn low & disappointed, i could always find comfort here.

my family, quite the closely knitted family..my dad has always thought of himself as the open-minded parents...when actually he's quite mindful of traditions or values of his own. From young, he's quite the strict man..but surely loving dad. I remember the times he screamed at me coming back late...or later than the time i had promised to. From being scared, i eventually became annoyed or even holding anger against being so controlling or strict towards me. Oh the teenage 'times'~

But but, there was the nicest memory of him being so concern..too concerned i used to think... And so ever-protective of the 3 of us. He allowed mum to be the good guy and himself to be the baddy.. u realised this tactic or method never fails...

sometimes, too comforting for the outside world..i think.

Really, i find myself hating me..to be sometimes putting up a false front or even like a diff me..which in times i couldn't help but try to establish a wall around me..so afraid that i might get hurt or too close...

I dunno, but it used to be not so hurting...or prob i dun even know it actually was hurting. that docile ger i was, not anymore.. maybe the environment had changed me...maybe it was just myself.

in a dilemma, to put down all the armour or wall around me and let myself find comfort again..or continue to protect? only when u let the pple come into your life..

Sunday, September 13, 2009 . 11:29 PM

it feels like tuning in to a radio channel..on your old rusty radio.
It's so hard to tune to.

ytd perhaps started off not too bad, my bro's commissioning went pretty smooth although..serious it took us quite some time to finally spot correctly. Thank God for dinner time when Jason could come in and join me & sis. I really didn't want him to wait too long, so sis & me initially really wanna make dinner swift. but unexpectedly he came in, Thank God. Mum & Dad joined Dan for 8 course dinner. So, we were somewhat..at diff places. Anyway, 3 of us finished buffet and took a stroll back..even though there's transport. Well, 3 of us somehow look like 3 笨蛋taking a long way back to carpark, wanna just take a peek at the barracks...cos the other time we didn't get to see them. Sweat way lot~

Back home, i remember my e-mail...forgotten to e-mail outlets on fri, so sat night quickly sent. Bathed & got changed to clothes for st james..at the same time wait for dan & parents to cab back.

On the way, we picked kavan up as well and headed down.
The mistake i think it's so hard to tune..bro & buddies came & join my friends...too big a crowd alr...plus the messy-ness & all the not so appropriate... seem to crash...spoil the fun.

all this all this i dunno how to say.
made the night a bad ending, not a night i wanted rmb. It was suppose to turn out nice..well..for a good farewell for my ger.

that night not good for any of us to rmb...but surely be remembered. I hope this awful-ness & adkwardness between all of us can be resolved. This, I need you God. Help me to...

As for tomorrow to slowly but surely to draw closer. I hope meeting tomorrow without manager will be fine. I remember to pray, for ability to manage day-to-day work & for a mind that keeps everything all positive & clear. Of all, I hope all that has happen will not affect adversely to anyone of us.