Monday, September 14, 2009 . 11:30 PM

歇下为一的武装

perhaps, my home has always been a comforting place...whenever u feel like damn low & disappointed, i could always find comfort here.

my family, quite the closely knitted family..my dad has always thought of himself as the open-minded parents...when actually he's quite mindful of traditions or values of his own. From young, he's quite the strict man..but surely loving dad. I remember the times he screamed at me coming back late...or later than the time i had promised to. From being scared, i eventually became annoyed or even holding anger against being so controlling or strict towards me. Oh the teenage 'times'~

But but, there was the nicest memory of him being so concern..too concerned i used to think... And so ever-protective of the 3 of us. He allowed mum to be the good guy and himself to be the baddy.. u realised this tactic or method never fails...

sometimes, too comforting for the outside world..i think.

Really, i find myself hating me..to be sometimes putting up a false front or even like a diff me..which in times i couldn't help but try to establish a wall around me..so afraid that i might get hurt or too close...

I dunno, but it used to be not so hurting...or prob i dun even know it actually was hurting. that docile ger i was, not anymore.. maybe the environment had changed me...maybe it was just myself.

in a dilemma, to put down all the armour or wall around me and let myself find comfort again..or continue to protect? only when u let the pple come into your life..